shallowme

i dreamt tt i was to marry this thai prince. he was eternally grateful to me for helping him break the window of his car in order to retrieve his car keys. however the thai royal family found out that i wasn't thai but singaporean and wanted to behead me, throw into state prison or something. in the end i was spared because the thai prince turned out to be a girl! (no, it's not wat you think) she was just pretending to be a guy and fooling ard with me.
so we were even. sort of. then i woke up

that was last night. but i see absolutely no link between this and rate of inflation, monetary policies and the blah. den again i m but an extremely dillusional girl in real life already
the only familiar thing was tt the prince(-cess) had the same name as him. but with a thai surname of course

hahah.

i wish i could engage in some form of meaningful profound, possibly intellectual, thinking that would last more than 10 minutes of my life. then maybe, perhaps i would discover some hidden passion or purpose to work for and not wish upon myself a thousand kinds of different lifes belonging to other ppl, den wishing i had nothing at all. but the statement is a contradiction to myself since most of the time i feel tat such thoughts are rather unmeaningful. reason being that it concerns the human inner well being, that is the state of the mind which happens to be very fickle as well. hence we need to continually keep thinking infinite questions and answers to a neverending search for the truth the meaning of life and the such. which again, is rather useless and is easily faked.
thus do not be fooled by the seemingly mature/philosophical + handsome looking man standing at the corner of the bar who thinks he knows it all. ha.

explains why sometimes i m unable to feel as much empathy for people as i want to. cause i dun reallie feel the extremes of emotions. they dun last long anyway. the last time i did, i thought i could just die. but ya.

so god save me from becoming an empty shell filled with the wind of superficiality, if there's such a word. but he can't. cause i have stopped believing years ago.

den again wat do i actually believe in