hidden sentiments

so i admit there is a tiny tiny part of me that actually wants to get into the team. that i m not entirely unfeeling towards the idea of not being able to make it.

so the bunch of us held a mini self-delusional self appraisal self help combo group talk. which was reallie heartwarming in a losers-stick-together kinda way. not tt i am sayin tt we are of coz, we're just... rejects. watever u call it. people who dun make it to the team.

i reallie appreciate tt everyone has been so nice and supportive to one another. i reallie do. though sometimes it does remind me of church where there would be a subconscious suspicion in me that almost everyone had an agenda. but ya. mich was great esp. i reallie like her spunk.

and it is only times like this when i wish i got to know everyone better tt i regret not being able to make it. which is seriously besides the main purpose of getting into the team. like shuling said, i dun wan to get in and compromise the chance of another who is more enthu and passionate than me.

this leaves me to devoting the rest of my school life to art.
art devotee* wheeee