i'm a little starfish
small and black

i once mentioned that one of my greatest fear is to be in a loveless marriage. how incredibly sad when two people so physically close, sleeping on the same bed, are like total strangers to one another. that they may hold their hands tight and still continue to drift apart. away onto two different worlds.

sometimes i look at my parents and wish that we, the kids, were independent enough to allow them to make decisions of their lifes. their own lifes, based on their own dreams, love and aspirations.. watever. stuff that were deemed irresponsible of others, unachievable, empty and faraway. surely they were once reckless and lived with passion, without much care.
my mum was.. and my stepsis and bro grew up just fine. but still it was a decision that she regretted all her life
but still when was the last time did they smile to one another?
or looked at each other knowingly
little things tat ppl wish for in a marriage of more than a decade.

i once thought i do not need any promises. useless sweet nothings or frivolous gestures, extravagant gifts. showers of kisses every meeting, endless vows or punctual nightly calls and sms-es to put me to sleep. as long as he is there for me and loves me blah.. i tink i still dun need them. but it is not the same
cause there isn't anyone there anymore