dreams. i get them every night. in the day sometimes.
i remember some. forgetting most.
they come in all forms. randomness is common. an occasional dejavu.
and rarely, those that i wake up smiling to.

lately they have taken a turn to satire.

my mum was nagging at me to study. non stop irritation. like a fly buzzing at ur ear. i shouted,
"if i screw up my alevels tts my own freaking business"
and broke her heart. her face was instantly overwhelmed with disappointment, she walked away silently.
i felt damn bad and flipped open a calendar to start a study plan.

i woke up actually believing for a moment that it was still october.

sometimes you can honestly be unaffected but its jst things like these that make you think twice. university fees, courses that u want to take, countries that you wan to study in, the cost, parents walking in ur room to give you money, thnking ur asleep and saying,"even though she does nt show it, i noe she is reallie upset with her results."

den they pretend that they expected it too, with no hopes watsoever that a miracle wld happen. and i pretend that i am prepared and know wat my next steps will be. its all part of the plan.