last paper is tmr and i have never been more convinced in my years of last minute muggings tt i will be flunking it, and possibly the entire sem as well. this is nt one of those underpromise-myself-to-overdeliver statements. all evidence point to a conclusive doom for me.

i dunno. i can always blame the fact tt it's a level4 modules (meaning no sane yr1s will take it, i din notice the code number while bidding then) or the insane project tt julyn and i was left out on. but tt wld be wrong. i guess i nv really change since jc/sec.

i met this fren in nus who was bald, well not exactly, but his hair consists very much of short stubs nt longer than half a mm or maybe even lesser. he told me tt he did reallie badly in his yr1 and was almost kicked out. since then, he shaved his hair bald every morning to remind him each day of tt painful lesson and to work hard and be focused in life.

i was amazed but at this moment i can understand how he felt. sometimes ppl think they need a huge event to drastically change their lifes or this pivotal moment of life and death all in good caldecott hill style. but these things dun come often or to everyone. even if it occurs, it is each individual step u take in the daily grind after tt counts. think i have been expecting to change in an instant. like if i wanted to be hardworking, i wld be hardworking in an instant or responsible immediately. being the instant gratification type tt i am.

lately when i tell jeremiah stuff tt i wanna do, he tells me tt he doesn't wan to listen cause he wans to wait for it to actually happen, knowing tt it will likely nt take place anyhow.

so nowadays i find it disheartening to blog cause it reminds me how my words dun count for much.