on saturday, i brought the boyfriend to the buffet at the En Japanese dining bar. i knew the food there was great but i was worried that he might not like my recommendation so i pretended that it was my first time there too. you know, so that i can get away with making a lousy choice by claiming that i didn't know.

yes i am a wuss that way.

fortunately but not unexpectedly, the food was excellent and he loved it. we stuffed ourselves half to death and my only regret was not having my digital camera with me to show the monstrous amount that we ate :D

*

i realized that i remember too much pain from past relationships. to have your heart so vulnerable and exposed to harsh words, the cutting silences and those nights spent waiting for that call or msg, slowing suffocating in your own thoughts. it's a dark place that i dare only tread at the edges of but it is enough for me to dread our first quarrel, first whatevers that would make me cry.

i remember too, how a single phone call could perk me up to entire day of uncontrollable smiles and giggles, annoying everyone ard me to no end. but what good came out of that?

just got off the phone with the boyfriend and i felt a smile surfacing. but it passed, tingling at the corners of my lips then sank in as a gentle warmth. like slow melting chocolate.

everyday i let my guard down a litte.